Synastry ~ Shining a Light on the Sun

Have you ever wondered why you get along easily with some people, but struggle to find a rapport with others?

In astrology, the study of relationship compatibility is called synastry, or chart comparison. For the second in an occasional series of articles on synastry, here’s a look at Sun connections between charts.

The Sun in our chart represents our source of energy and how we use it. By sign, house position and aspect, the Sun suggests where best we should channel our energy in order to grow and fulfill our life’s purpose. It also hints at the challenges and lessons we might expect to meet along the way. As such, it represents our own personal hero’s journey – our vitality, willpower, ego identity and the creative urge. Expressing our Sun is a mission, something we need to learn to do, to aspire to.

Whenever we meet another person whose aims, goals, mission and energetic expression are similar to or compatible to our own we ‘get them’. We tend to feel a rapport with them, or at least we can understand where they’re coming from. On the other hand, when we meet someone whose expression is very different from our own we can have difficulty understanding where they’re coming from. While we may feel intrigued and attracted to the different energy, getting along together presents us both with a challenge.

When judging Sun compatibility between charts, we really need to look at the whole picture – the Sun’s sign, aspects and house - but simply looking at the basic Sun to Sun aspects in isolation is the best place to start and we can build from there.

Of course, when comparing charts the two Suns might not form an aspect. If this is the case, look to the general compatibility by sign and element. The following will still apply, but it will be a less intense connection.

Sun conjunct Sun (or Sun in the same sign):

If your Suns are conjunct, think of all those joint birthday parties you can enjoy! For two Virgoans or Capricorns, that might be a great thing (think of the money you will save by throwing a shared bash), but if you’re two Leos, do you really want to share the occasion with another limelight hogger? This sounds a bit flippant, but the point is that this connection can very much depend on the sign the Sun is in. However, generally speaking, you have similar ways of expressing your energy and ego and your life’s lessons, missions and purpose are compatible. While you may be at very different stages in your journey, you are traveling in the same direction. You can really identify with the person who shares your Sun sign and this can be an easy, supportive relationship. The danger of being so alike is that you can too easily become aware each other’s weaknesses. If this happens, take note, because there is a lesson in it for you both. Rather than actively disliking the other person, remember that they are most probably highlighting something you don’t like about yourself, or something you are in denial about and need to work on.

Sun opposition Sun (or Sun in opposite signs):

Opposites attract! This aspect is very commonly found between friends and lovers. Opposites might well attract, but they can also repel and often can attract-repel at the same time, which makes this aspect very interesting. At best, you will complement each other nicely and find the relationship stimulating and mutually supportive with a nice balance of egos. This is because despite the differences between opposing signs, they also share common concerns (click to read more). At worst, there can be no real relationship because you are constantly pulling apart, moving in completely opposite directions. It can even be both at the same time…Yes, the classic love-hate relationship is a possibility here.

Sun square Sun (or Sun in the same mode):

Click to Enlarge

Square aspects are challenging and dynamic. They call for action, often in response to conflict, but dealing with conflict successfully can lead to valuable growth for both individuals involved. Planets square other planets in the same mode as themselves, so planets in cardinal signs square planets in other cardinal signs and so on. The graphic to the right explains all. In relationships where your Suns square each other, you tend to tackle the obstacles and problems you meet on your life journey in a similar style, but because your overall temperament and life goals differ, this can sometimes lead to a frustrating relationship dynamic. Attraction can feel strong between you but just as easily so can dislike! Relationships between cardinal signs can become blighted by over-competitiveness, fixed relationships can feel possessive and stuck and mutable relationships can have a tendency to drift. Ultimately though, Sun square Sun in synastry, if expressed healthily and with conciousness, is a contact which can lead to growth and personal development for both concerned. If you can work out your differences you can achieve a lot together.

Sun Trine Sun (or Sun in the same element):

When your Sun trines somebody else’s Sun, it suggests an easy, supportive, harmonious relationship. You tend to ‘get’ each other, feel comfortable holding hands along life’s journey together and feel nicely energized by each other’s company. However, if you want dynamism, growth and a little exciting tension in your relationship, you might need to find that in other aspects between your charts. Planets trine other planets in the same element as them, illustrated in the graphics below (click on each graphic to enlarge).

Sun Sextile Sun (or Sun in a compatible element):

Sextiles, like trines, suggest an easy, harmonious relationship. It’s generally a supportive relationship which benefits both parties, because the element your Sun is in, is compatible with the element the other person’s Sun falls in. However, the sextile does need a little more work than a trine to make the most out of it. At best, sextiles between your Sun and another person’s Sun present an opportunity for you to help and encourage each other to achieve your life goals.

Sun Quincunx Sun (or Sun in natural quincunx by sign):

Planets in quincunx just don’t get each other at all. Unlike the square aspect they do not share the same mode and neither do they share compatible elements. When our Suns are in quincunx by aspect or merely by sign, our energy, vitality, life path and goals – and how we achieve our goals – are so different, it’s hard to see a common meeting point. The key word for the quincunx is awkward and the best way to work with a quincunx in synastry is for both parties to accept that constant adjustments and allowances will need to be made within the relationship. However, surprisingly, close relationships and marriages between people whose Suns are in quincunx (by aspect or merely by sign) are pretty common. Maybe this aspect between Suns keeps things fresh and alive and constantly interesting? At best, living with someone whose Sun quincunxes your Sun teaches you great tolerance. While you may never completely get where the other person is coming from, to learn to lovingly honor and respect the differences between you is a great thing. With a quincunx between your Suns, you would hope for some more compatible aspects between other planets in your synastry. For example, my Capricorn Sun and my husband’s Leo Sun fall into a natural quincunx. However, his Capricorn Moon complements my Sun and my Aquarius Moon complements his Sun and vice versa. Harmonious Venus and Mars connections also help keep things nice on the romantic front!

Sun Semisextile Sun (or Suns in neighboring signs):

Planets in semisextile are 30 degrees away from each other, in neighboring signs. While our neighbors might not be our most natural bedfellows, with a bit of work on both sides, we can find a way to live harmoniously alongside them. Fortunately, in synastry, semisextile aspects between Suns tend to be easier than semisextiles between planets that are not so naturally harmonious, such as Saturn and Mars. When your Suns are in semisextile, it offers a great learning experience for both of you. For example, an Aquarius Sun can help a Capricorn Sun shake itself out of its boring old routine to try something new, whilst Capricorn lends a bit of stability and structure to Aquarius’ goals and ideals. Scorpio Sun can help Sagittarius Sun to be more controlled and patient and Sagittarius can help Scorpio to be less suspicious and more optimistic about life’s gifts. And so on… As you think about all the Sun signs it becomes fairly easy to see how the sign before or after it can act as a healthy antidote to its more negative qualities. It’s not necessarily instant sunshine and roses with the semisextile though, this aspect in synastry will probably require work and awareness to feel the benefits.

Here’s a real life example of how these aspects can work, which also brings in the outer planet dimension to demonstrate how these can color the Sun to Sun synastry aspects:

Uranus in the mix

A few years back, Andrea* started an affair with Karl, whose Cancer Sun was exactly opposite her Capricorn Sun. Andrea says she felt strongly attracted to this man very shortly after meeting him, but weirdly felt repelled by him at the same time. This seems pretty typical of Sun opposite Sun connections, if a little extreme. However, Karl had natal Sun square Uranus (forming a t-square with Andrea’s Sun) and at the time the affair began, Andrea had transiting Uranus squaring her Ascendant-Descendant (the relationship axis). The presence of Uranus served to underscore and intensify the Sun connection between them and Andrea talks of the affair as exciting, stressful and sudden. But Uranus also seemed to catalyze the break up (the pulling apart which is common with Sun opposite Sun) which Andrea says was just as sudden. She simply woke up one day and the repulsion had overtaken the attraction and so she cut off the relationship just like that (very Uranian). This left Karl – a sensitive Cancerian – rather hurt and bewildered. Remarkably, however, he wrote to Andrea a few weeks later with total acceptance that the relationship was over (remember, this sensitive Cancer was also very Uranian), expressing his thanks for the valuable lesson she had taught him about relationships.

Generally speaking, Sun-Sun synastry aspects that also involve Uranus make for very exciting interactions. If both people are prepared to explore unconventional ways of relating it can work out just peachy, but very often it can result in a shaky relationship where one person demands more freedom than the other is willing to give. This is perhaps why these connections are often marked by periodic (or permanent) break ups, or at least times when one person needs to emotionally detach from the other. It's not that it won’t eventually lead to commitment, often it does, its just that the commitment might not be what most would call traditional. To work, these associations require that each partner allows the other enough space to be true to themselves and follow their life path authentically, even if this means that they ultimately end up going in totally different directions.

Imagine if the above example was colored by Saturn or Neptune or Pluto rather than Uranus and you get a very different set of potentials….

Pluto in the mix

When Pluto is involved in Sun to Sun synastry connections a powerful attraction is suggested. Unfortunately, these relationships can easily become a battle of wills, as one or both partners try to control the relationship, expecting the other to submit to their will, maybe even forcibly. There’s no doubt that these relationships are powerfully deep and strong and passionate, but both parties need to be able to keep things in perspective, nurture each other’s free will and self esteem and constantly ask themselves whether the relationship is a healthy one for both concerned. At best, this is an association that can be deeply transforming, if both parties can allow themselves and each other the space to healthily purge and explore their deepest, darkest urges together. There is often something clandestine about these types of relationships. When both are positively empowered by the relationship, this can be a coupling to be reckoned with!

Neptune in the mix

With Neptune involved in Sun to Sun synastry connections, the relationship takes on an otherworldly feeling. These connections can feel ‘meant to be’, part of some ‘divine plan’. The danger is that it’s too easy for the relationship to become an over-idealized one which ignores or simply doesn’t see the flaws and weaknesses within it. Escapism is a distinct possibility, with either or both parties expecting the relationship to keep them safe from the harsh reality of real life. While this can be cozy and in some ways positive, couples with these connections need to be careful they don’t slip into unhealthy escapist habits together such as drink, drugs or emotional interdependence. These connections often call for one or both to make sacrifices which can easily veer them off their life path and sap their vitality and free will. Quite simply, it’s easy to lose your individual identity such is the urge to merge here. These relationships are often marked by deception in some way, which can leave one or both disappointed, disillusioned or even abandoned once reality finally hits. At best, these couplings really can be of the ‘made for each variety’ and if both are able to truly support each other on their life journey they can reach new heights together romantically, spiritually and creatively.

Saturn in the mix

With Saturn involved in Sun to Sun synastry connections, the relationship takes on a serious dimension. Strong Saturn connections in synastry are very often found in committed, long term relationships. Yes, Saturn is a stayer! However, it’s not all wedding bells and 25th anniversaries with Saturn, because this harsh reality planet can just as easily suggest a relationship which struggles to get off the ground in the first place. Perhaps one or the other is wary of entering into a relationship or has doubts that the other person is right for them? Sometimes, this connection can suggest delays or obstacles in coming together, either emotional or circumstantial. Once the relationship is underway, at least one party will need the security and stability of a more traditional style of relationship. Whether this can work out will very much depend on whether that relationship style suits the other person’s temperament and life path. Also, this connection can suggest a relationship where one or the other feels constricted, or feels that their self confidence is being eroded by the other’s judgmental or pessimistic attitude to life. At best, couples in Sun-Saturn synastry relationships can grow together in mutual respect, love and esteem for each other. This can be the perfect connection for growing old together gracefully.

A note about working with synastry: I have found that the best way to work with synastry is to apply it to existing relationships, using it as a guide to understanding the issues, meeting points, tensions and lessons inherent in the relationship. If you apply synastry to someone you don’t know very well but kinda fancy, I doubt you will get a very useful picture. This is because human beings are strange creatures, with odd and surprising tastes and a weird thing called free will. So, comparing your chart with that of the cute boy you met on the bus the other night after you managed to sweet talk his date of birth out of him, really won’t tell you if he’s going to fancy you back! Oh and please, when comparing your chart with someone else’s, it's good ethics to ask their permission first (my Mercury in Sagittarius in the 7th talking).

Related Posts:

Synastry ~ Making Friends with the Elements

Saturn in Libra Retrograde ~ Relationship Revision Time

With love,

Mandi

http://www.mandilockley.com/

*Published with permission. Names have been changed.

Saturn in Libra Retrograde: Relationship Revision Time (Redux)

Saturn image from NASA

This article was first published on this blog in January '10. This is an updated version.

Saturn, the great lesson-teacher of the zodiac, turns Retrograde from 26 January 2010 at 17 degrees of Libra. It will travel back to 10 degrees Libra and will turn direct on 13 June. Saturn will remain in Libra until October 2012, with one further Retrograde period between Feb and June 2012.

The Retrograde periods are a great time to review your progress under Saturn in Libra.

Libra is fair minded and craves peace and balance and harmonious relationship. Saturn is also fair, BUT works us hard and makes us pay our dues. So, you can't expect everything to be automatically lovey-dovey lovely with Saturn in Libra, we are going to have to work at it! Sound like a buzz-kill? Well, remember that Libra needs a bit of conflict and disharmony otherwise it doesn’t have a job to do. Libra needs a balance to find, a peace deal to negotiate, a relationship to build and a compromise to be brokered and Saturn provides the structure and authority to enable Libra to do that job very effectively. Then, when all is said and done, Saturn in Libra will put you on its karmic scales, deduct points for laziness, add points for effort and goods delivered and then, in the nicest possible way, give you just what you need and everything you deserve.

Saturn’s first major quest in Libra was a challenging series of square aspects to Pluto in Capricorn. The essential phrase to describe Saturn-Pluto aspects is hard, hard, work! Not much fun, was it? However, this was where Saturn’s exultation in Libra came in, for in Libra, Saturn actually enjoys putting the work in. If you note that Pluto’s current placement in Capricorn is also a sign that Saturn absolutely loves, then you can see that Saturn in Libra Square Pluto in Capricorn is a very, very dynamic interaction. Boy, was it dynamic! There was hard work, possibly losses, maybe a few scary demons to face, some bridges to build and re-build and a huge clean up job to do. BUT, at an individual and a world level, it was an opportunity for us to put our grist to the mill, work hard, hard, hard and ultimately make the necessary changes and cut backs we needed to get off on a good, solid, realistic footing for the future. Who knows, if we dug deep enough, shifted enough dirt and scrubbed enough mucky old boulders, we might even have unearthed some very valuable buried treasure or flawless gems, metaphorically speaking!

But Pluto wasn't the only planet that Saturn in Libra met. In 2008 Saturn in Virgo began a series of oppositions with Uranus in Pisces. The last of these change making, status-quo shaking, disruptive oppositions occurred in July 2010 just before the final Saturn-Pluto square, with Saturn in Libra and Uranus in Aries.

Now, as Saturn in Libra turns retrograde, it's time to review what's happened over the last year or so. So what have been your 'Saturn' lessons so far? What’s made you work hard? Where did you find hidden gems? What changed? What was turned on its head? Was it exciting or was it stressful and unsettling? Are things resolved or is there still some work to do? 

Think back to any conflicts you experienced over the last few months, perhaps at work or in your intimate relationships. Ask yourself how you could have handled it better. Was it all about winning the argument or did you just give in to the other person’s demands? Do you think you would have felt better if you had worked for a fair compromise that could have helped both parties?

In your major relationships, where does the balance of power lie? Do you give your power away by letting the other person take advantage of you? Why do you do this? Is it because you are afraid of conflict, or afraid that the other person won’t like you/love you/respect you if you stand up for yourself?

Is your behaviour often influenced by a need to please others or a need to be popular? Consider what would happen if, in the nicest way, you pleased yourself a bit more? How would others react? If you think they would not accept it, then perhaps you might consider if their respect/friendship/time etc. is really so important that you would be willing to always put their needs before your own in order to have them in your lives? Most likely, after adjusting to your new behaviour, they would still love and respect you, perhaps even more so.

Similarly, do you find you spend a lot of time running around after others, so much so that you don’t have time to get your own needs met? If so, how can you make more time for yourself? Do you need to learn to ask for help, rather than doing it all yourself? How do you feel about the time you spend doing things for others? Do you do it out of duty but secretly resent it? If so, maybe it’s time to re-balance things.

At work or at home, are you one of those ‘if you want something doing right, do it yourself’ types? If so, is it perhaps time to learn to delegate more? Or perhaps learn to work alongside others, doing it together? Wouldn’t this approach be more fun and more rewarding? Consider what you might learn from each other and how much more you could achieve as a team.

How have your relationships changed over the last year? Has the change been for the better? Have you freed yourself from toxic relationships or are you still hanging on to unhealthy associations? Have you given yourself permission to grieve for lost relationships, an important part of the healing process so you can move on?

If life still feels like hard, hard work at the moment, consider whether your efforts are being put to best use and whether they are focused in the right direction. Are negative emotions (fear, stress, anger, anxiety etc) overly exhausting you and making things feel worse. Perhaps you need to take a step back and unravel all this emotion in order to move forward healthily?

Finally and most importantly think about all your relationship successes over the last few months. Give yourself a pat on the back for friendships you have grown and developed, helpful alliances you have formed and for the happy, harmonious moments you've shared in your closest relationships.

I know life may still feel difficult for many right now, but can you see the light at the end of the tunnel? Just a glimmer? Remember, every bit of progress counts, however small and Saturn has a very long memory.

While we all, to a lesser or greater extent, absorb the energies around us, this Saturn Retrograde period will have most resonance with those of you who have planets or angles between 10 and 17 degrees of the cardinal signs (Aries, Cancer, Libra and Capricorn). You can quickly download your own birth chart which will provide you with this information in a simply understood way at http://www.alabe.com/

Note: This original version of this article featured in Saturn in Libra and Relationships, published on Sasstrology as part of the 2010 International Astrology Day Blogathon. The purpose of this web-based event is to create a permanent library of articles about how to deal with the stresses of the Cardinal T-Square of Pluto, Saturn and Uranus. The main page for the Blogathon collections is at The Cardinal T-Square of 2010: Saturn, Uranus, Pluto.

Blessings,
Mandi
http://www.mandilockley.com/

Synastry ~ Making Friends with the Elements

[Note: this article has also appeared on www.sasstrology.com a popular website that looks at the astrology of love, sex and relationships]

Have you ever wondered why you attract the friends and lovers that you do? Is it your similarities that bring you together, or your differences, or a bit of both?

In astrology, the study of relationship compatibility is called synastry, or chart comparison. Synastry can be complex, but like most things in astrology, keeping it simple can be very enlightening.

So, for the first in an occasional series of articles on synastry, I’m going to look at the elements.

The elements are the basic building blocks of astrology (see the graphics for the signs and key words for each element). Popular theory says that you will be compatible with signs in your own element, so Fire gets on with Fire, Water with Water etc. Additionally, Fire and Air signs are said to get along, as are Earth and Water signs.

However, I have also found that we are very often attracted to the element we lack in our own chart. It’s as if we look towards others to compensate for what we don't have. Here are a couple of celebrity examples:

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie

Angelina Jolie has a chart strong in Fire and Air, with a good splash of Water as well. She is totally lacking in the Earth element.

People with a lack of Earth in their charts often feel rootless and ungrounded. They may feel as if they don't fit into the 'real' world and often have difficulty following the routines and limitations that are demanded by everyday material life. Jolie's unbounded wild behaviour, risk taking and fantasies are well documented.

Brad Pitt on the other hand has a stellium of personal planets (Moon, Mercury, Venus and Mars) in practical, down to earth Capricorn. While we can't speculate on their private life, it's easy to see how earthy Pitt might provide Jolie with a sense of the stability, rootedness, routine and structure she appeared to lack in her younger, crazier days. Certainly, she has become the model earth mother since meeting Pitt, as evidenced by her brood of six kids. It's interesting that she has so many kids, as people often compensate for their lack of element by totally overdoing it.

Does spontaneous Jolie find practical Pitt boring at times? Who knows, but I'm sure that his adventurous Sagittarius Sun and Ascendant must provide a bit of excitement to keep the fire alive in their relationship. 

Beyonce and Jay-Z

Singer Beyonce has very little Fire in her chart, which is compensated for by rapper Jay Z's Sun, Mercury and Venus in fiery Sagittarius. 

A lack of Fire can manifest in a lack of self confidence and a lack of enthusiasm, faith and optimism in what life has to offer.

Jay-Z's fiery get up and go, idealism and energy, is probably an effective foil for Beyonce's lack of fire and conversely, Jay-Z lacks Earth in his chart, so Beyonce's practical, down to earth Sun in Virgo no doubt helps him to keep his feet on the ground.

Here’s a very simple exercise to see if this works for you:

First of all work out what element/s you have a preponderance of and which you have a lack of. If you don’t already know this, here’s a link to an article from astrology-numerology.com which tells you how to work it out and also includes useful interpretations http://www.astrology-numerology.com/elements.html (Note: If you know your birth time, I would also include three points for the Ascendant and one point for the Midheaven. Oh, and if you don’t know your chart you can download it at www.alabe.com).

When I did this exercise for myself I scored high for Air (hence the Astroair moniker); average for Earth and relatively low for Fire and Water.

Next look at the charts for your close friends and your partner (if you have their permission to do so).

Here’s a few of mine:

One of my close friends has a very strong Water chart, with Sun, Moon and Ascendant all in water signs. Definitely a good foil for my lack of water. I love how I can tell her all my woes and she will just listen and be with me and empathise, without giving advice or instruction or trying to ‘fix’ or change things.

A lack of Water can mean that it's difficult to empathise with others and hard to pick up subtleties of feelings in relationships. The emotions may not be easily accessible to those lacking in Water, although that doesn't mean that they don't have strong emotions, just that they may have difficulty expressing them. If you are lacking in water however, try to not ‘dump’ all your emotional stuff on your watery friends. Be aware that they are very sensitive, like sponges, and they will carry your karma away with them, without either of you even realising it.

Another close friend of mine has a totally fiery chart with Sun, Moon and Ascendant all in Fire signs. I really admire her nerve, spirit and creativity. An afternoon with her really lifts my spirits and makes me feel as if anything is possible. Longer than an afternoon though, makes me feel positively 'burnt out'.

It works both ways of course. Your friends might be attracted to you because you have an element they lack. For example, a good friend of mine with lots of Earth and a watery Moon in Cancer (she bakes the best muffins this side of, well, the Moon) totally lacks Air in her chart.

With a lack of Air, it can be difficult to take a step back from one's life in order to see things in perspective. It can be difficult for a person with a lack of Air to detach themselves from feelings and situations and it can be hard for them to adjust to new ideas and differing points of view. Perhaps my airy nature is a good foil for my friend's lack of Air, in the same way that her watery planets nourish my lack of water.

If I do the same exercise for all my close friends and for my hubby, they are all without exception strong in either Fire or Water, or both in some cases.

What about you? Do your close friends and your partner reflect the elements you are lacking? Or are you more attracted to people with a similar element balance as yourself?

Let me know in the comments box below...

For more on the elements see, Astrology, Psychology and The Four Elements by Stephen Arroyo
Celebrity chart info from: http://www.astro.com/astro-databank

With love,
Mandi
http://www.mandilockley.com/

Saturn in Libra Retrograde: Relationship Revision Time

Saturn image from NASA

Saturn, the great lesson-teacher of the zodiac, stationed Retrograde on 13 January at 5 degrees of Libra. He is currently retracing his steps backwards through the first few degrees of Libra and re-enters Virgo on 7 April, before finally regaining his forward trajectory from 30th May.

This Retrograde period is a great time to review our progress under Saturn in Libra so far. First, here’s a reminder of what I wrote when Saturn moved into Libra back in October 2009:

Libra is fair minded and craves peace and balance and harmonious relationship. Saturn is also fair, BUT works us hard and makes us pay our dues. So, don’t expect everything to be automatically lovey-dovey lovely with Saturn in Libra, we are going to have to work at it! Sound like a buzz-kill? Well, remember that Libra needs a bit of conflict and disharmony otherwise it doesn’t have a job to do. Libra needs a balance to find, a peace deal to negotiate, a relationship to build and a compromise to be brokered and Saturn provides the structure and authority to enable Libra to do that job very effectively. Then, when all is said and done, Saturn in Libra will put you on its karmic scales, deduct points for laziness, add points for effort and goods delivered and then, in the nicest possible way, give you just what you need and everything you deserve.

But there's a long journey ahead before any of that and Saturn in Libra’s first major quest is a challenging series of square aspects to Pluto in Capricorn. The essential phrase to describe Saturn-Pluto aspects is hard, hard, work! Oh, no, it doesn’t sound like much fun does it? However, this is where Saturn’s exultation in Libra comes in, for in Libra, Saturn actually enjoys putting the work in. If you note that Pluto’s current placement in Capricorn is also a sign that Saturn absolutely loves, then you can start to see that Saturn in Libra Square Pluto in Capricorn is a very, very dynamic interaction. There will be hard work, possible losses, scary demons to face, bridges to build and re-build and a huge clean up job to do. BUT, at an individual and a world level, this is a unique opportunity for us to put our grist to the mill, work hard, hard, hard and ultimately make the necessary changes we need to get off on a good, solid, realistic footing for the future to come. Who knows, if we dig deep enough, shift enough dirt and scrub enough mucky old boulders, we might even unearth some very valuable buried treasure or flawless gems, metaphorically speaking!

So what have been your lessons so far? What’s been making you work hard? Where might you find your hidden gems?

Think back to any conflicts you experienced over the last few months, perhaps at work or in your intimate relationships. Ask yourself how you could have handled it better. Was it all about winning the argument or did you just give in to the other person’s demands? Do you think you would have felt better if you had worked for a fair compromise that could have helped both parties?

In your major relationships, where does the balance of power lie? Do you give your power away by letting the other person take advantage of you? Why do you do this? Is it because you are afraid of conflict, or afraid that the other person won’t like you/love you/respect you if you stand up for yourself?

Is your behaviour often influenced by a need to please others or a need to be popular? Consider what would happen if, in the nicest way, you pleased yourself a bit more? How would others react? If you think they would not accept it, then perhaps you might consider if their respect/friendship/time etc. is really so important that you would be willing to always put their needs before your own in order to have them in your lives? Most likely, after adjusting to your new behaviour, they would still love and respect you, perhaps even more so.

Similarly, do you find you spend a lot of time running around after others, so much so that you don’t have time to get your own needs met? If so, how can you make more time for yourself? Do you need to learn to ask for help, rather than doing it all yourself? How do you feel about the time you spend doing things for others? Do you do it out of duty but secretly resent it? If so, maybe it’s time to re-balance things.

At work or at home, are you one of those ‘if you want something doing right, do it yourself’ types? If so, is it perhaps time to learn to delegate more? Or perhaps learn to work alongside others, doing it together? Wouldn’t this approach be more fun and more rewarding? Consider what you might learn from each other and how much more you could achieve as a team.

If life feels like hard, hard work at the moment, consider whether your efforts are being put to best use and whether they are focused in the right direction. Are negative emotions (fear, stress, anger, anxiety etc) overly exhausting you and making things feel worse. Perhaps you need to take a step back and unravel all this emotion in order to move forward healthily?

Finally and most importantly think about all your relationship successes over the last few months. Give yourself a pat on the back for friendships you have grown and developed, helpful alliances you have formed and for the happy, harmonious moments you've shared in your closest relationships.

Two days after Saturn went Retrograde there was a solar eclipse in the sign that Saturn rules, disciplined Capricorn. Venus in Capricorn conjoined that eclipse, in mutual reception to Saturn in Libra, reminding us then, and still now, that the most important relationship we will ever have is our relationship with our-self.

I know life feels difficult for many right now, but I do hope that in the midst of all the difficulties you are able to keep the bigger perspective and move forward. Saturn is in Libra until October 2012, so we’ve got plenty of time to do this work, plus another couple of Retrograde review periods of Saturn in Libra after this one, so don’t beat yourself up if it feels like a long slow process. Every bit of progress counts, however small and Saturn has a very long memory.

While we all, to a lesser or greater extent, absorb the energies around us, this Saturn Retrograde period will have most resonance with those of you who have planets or angles in the first 5 degrees of the cardinal signs (Aries, Cancer, Libra and Capricorn) and/or the last couple of degrees of the mutable signs (Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius and Pisces). You can quickly download your own birth chart which will provide you with this information in a simply understood way at http://www.alabe.com/

Note: This article is featured in Saturn in Libra and Relationships, published on Sasstrology as part of the 2010 International Astrology Day Blogathon. The purpose of this web-based event is to create a permanent library of articles about how to deal with the stresses of the Cardinal T-Square of Pluto, Saturn and Uranus. The main page for the Blogathon collections is at The Cardinal T-Square of 2010: Saturn, Uranus, Pluto.

Blessings,
Mandi
http://www.mandilockley.com/