I’ve been
wondering lately; can the birth chart tell us how empathetic someone is?
Collins Dictionary describes
empathy as “the power of understanding and imaginatively entering into another
person’s feelings.” In other words, it’s the ability to imagine yourself in
someone else’s shoes, regardless of whether or not you have experienced what
they are experiencing.
There are different
kinds of empathy. Emotional empathy is how we commonly think of empathy, as per
the dictionary definition above. There is also cognitive empathy, which is the
ability to see things from someone else’s perspective without necessarily
feeling their feelings. Then there’s compassionate empathy, which is when empathy
is followed through with helpful action.
Emotional
empathy is most easily associated with the Water element (Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces),
because qualities associated with Water are emotional sensitivity and connection.
However, when Water dominates a chart, it doesn’t necessarily guarantee
empathetic responses to the feelings of others (I’ll explain in Part 2 why this
might be). It’s also not the case that those with a lack of Water in their
chart or with a dominance of Fire (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius), Earth (Taurus,
Virgo, Capricorn) or Air (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius) don’t have as much capacity
for empathy, although we might surmise that an Air type is likely to have more cognitive
empathy than emotional, for example. However, I’m focusing on emotional empathy
here and everyone, whatever the element balance in their chart, has feelings.
It’s my experience that most people with any element emphasis or deficit
in their chart are capable of this kind of empathy, but are also capable of
showing a lack of empathy at times.
So, the
question remains, can you determine empathy from the birth chart? I think not
and nor, I believe, can you tell if someone lacks empathy from their
chart. Lack of empathy/callousness is defined as one of the characteristics of psychopaths and I don’t believe you can spot one just from a chart, any more
than you can spot an empath. But let’s assume, for the purposes of this essay,
that most people are capable of some degree of empathy and look at the question
from a different angle.
I was
walking down a residential street this morning (heading for my local park) and got to thinking that perhaps the birth chart can tell us something about what
might get in the way of empathy.
As I strolled,
in a moment of universal synchronicity, something random happened that made me
feel no empathy, followed by a distinct empathetic response just moments later.
Called out of
my thinking head by shouting, my automatic conscious response was curiosity.
What’s happening, where is this noise coming from? Meanwhile, unconsciously, my
brain would have been trying to figure out if this posed any danger to me. So,
no empathy here, just my natural, selfish, survival response with a measure of
inquisitiveness. I discovered where the noise was coming from when a young
woman ran yelling out of an open front door, swiftly followed by two police
officers. As she crossed the road and started running directly towards me, the
officers still in pursuit, again I felt no empathy. I only feared for my own
safety, so moved out of the way pretty sharpish.
Once they’d
passed me and I was safe, I again became curious about what was happening. The
woman had been caught up by the police who were trying to restrain her. She was
terribly upset; crying and begging them to let go of her. Now, witnessing her
obvious distress, I felt upset and had the beginnings of tears in my eyes. I
didn’t know the background of her situation, whether she’d hurt someone else or
herself, or if she was having some sort of breakdown. Nevertheless, I had a fleeting
emotional upset in response to this stranger’s anguish. In other words, I could
empathise, despite the fact that I didn’t understand what was happening and that
thankfully I’ve never myself been chased and restrained by the police. However,
it was possible for me to imagine feeling so scared that I would need to
run away from capture.
It would have
been impossible for me to empathise when I felt I might be in danger in this
uncertain situation. My automatic response was to defend myself, to make myself
safe, nobody else mattered at that point. So, if it’s impossible to be
empathetic when our defences are up (physical or emotional), we can explore how
the defence mechanisms suggested by our birth chart, get in the way of, inhibit
or delay our emotional empathy.
Where do we see
our defences in our chart? A safe bet is that they are suggested by our aspects
and aspect patterns. First, what do we mean by defences? Ego defence mechanisms
“are psychological processes people use, in order to protect themselves against
extreme discomfort and tension. They are also effective in maintaining mental
composure and self-esteem in a variety of what might otherwise be very painful
situations. Defence mechanisms operate at an unconscious level, and all of us
use them occasionally. However, prolonged and persistent use of them is
counter-productive, because such defences serve to distort reality and falsify
experience.” (Hough, p85).
Square aspects
between planets are an obvious candidate for showing potential defence
mechanisms in the birth chart. This is because squares often impel us to act,
but the tension of the Square means that that action might be the activation of
a defence mechanism. Take, for example,
Mercury Square Saturn. This aspect suggests a fear of not being clever enough or
a fear of being wrong and usually this fear stems from early life experiences. Perhaps
the child was ridiculed or punished when they made a mistake? Perhaps their
defence was to give up trying and live with the ‘story’ that they are stupid.
Or perhaps they arm themselves with the ‘belief’ that they are right about
everything and everyone else is wrong. This might feel like a safe place to sit
and in the short term it protects from the threat of further punishment or
ridicule. But to be wrong, to make mistakes, to allow ourselves to fail is how
we learn and ultimately how we succeed. If someone beats themselves up over
failing a test (or even for failing to get top marks in a test), how are they
able to show empathy to others who might be struggling on that test and could
perhaps use a little support and encouragement? And the subtle message the
Mercury-Saturn person gives to others is that they think anyone who gets lower
marks than them really is stupid.
A lady with this aspect who, while bright, for socio-economic reasons, was unable
to get the education they wanted. Their child, however (also with Mercury Square
Saturn) was able to access higher education. Throughout their years at university,
the mother constantly denigrated and ridiculed the child’s desire to get educated,
telling them they were lazy and a failure for choosing to get a degree over
going straight into a job, marriage and children. Because the mother
unconsciously felt envious and threatened by their child’s education opportunities
and defended themselves accordingly, there was no empathy for the path their child
had taken. Unaware for many years that their mother’s response was a defensive
one, born of disappointment from their own childhood, the child was also unable
to empathise with their mother’s insecurities and ended up feeling like the
failure their mother said they were, while at the same time, emotionally disengaging
from the mother, thus confirming the mother’s fears that they would lose their child
if they got educated.
This example, shows how, if we become aware of the issues of our challenging aspects, we can also become aware of our defences and ultimately understand what is behind them. When the child (as the well-educated adult they became) understood where their mother was coming from, they were able to forgive, rebuild the relationship, feel proud of their academic achievements and finally share them with the world without fear (or rather feel the fear and do it anyway - old habits die hard).
Part 2 coming soon... more examples of how defences in the birth chart can block empathy.
In the meantime, if you enjoyed this article... you might also enjoy Jupiter, Saturn and the Superego
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Reference: Hough, M.
(2019) Counselling Skills and Theory. 4th Edition. UK: Hodder Education.
The relationship of the Sun (the largest and most powerful signifier of our ego) to Mercury (the messenger of the ego) is telling. Astronomically, Mercury is the closest planet to the Sun and astrologically, they can never be more than 28 degrees apart, meaning that only a Conjunction aspect is possible. This tightly entwines our ego and its emissary. A primary interpretation of Sun Conjunct Mercury2 is that it suggests an ego driven, perhaps controlling personality, with difficulty separating the ego identity from one’s ideas and opinions, which might manifest as seeing one’s own perspective as the only correct perspective and having difficulty accepting the views of others. More positively, it’s associated with independent thought and confident expression. But even without the Conjunction, the close proximity of the Sun and Mercury suggests that every one of us is somewhat ego driven and to a greater or lesser extent lacking objectivity and defensive of our own opinions when they clash with another’s.
